I’m a depressed, anxious, b12 deficient individual who lacks motivation and lacks energy. A 15-minute task will often take me an hour. So maybe it’s not surprising that I’ve found myself increasingly drawn toward books that are supposed to give me a different perspective on life.
In late 2015 a break-up and a precarious mental health moment happened to occur at the same time. After a few days of not moving or eating I made a very determined effort to distract myself with, well, life. This was not a route I was accustomed to taking but it was 1 month until Christmas, and fuck being sad at Christmas. So, along with a bunch of other less well thought out coping mechanisms, I ordered a bunch of books to try to help me… find myself… or something.
On December 1st, the following books arrived; The art of pretending to be a grown up, #Girlboss, Made, and You are a badass.
Aside from the fact that not long after I ended up in another weirdly weird relationship, I think they helped. Grace Helbig’s book made me laugh as I recognised way too much of myself in her words. Girlboss was inspiring and intriguing at the time, although since then I’m not so keen on Sophia Amoruso and the concerning tales that surround her business. Made was not so invigorating as it was calming. It felt like a slightly too rich friend having a wee gab about her lifestyle to you, and I still refer to it two years later (although I will never live so glamorously as Millie).
Finally, we have ‘You are a badass’. While I started this that December, I didn’t finish it till nearly a year later – having been generally distracted by university, and abandoning it when I went home for summer. Heading into my 3rd year of uni was the best time for me for me to pick this back up. Somewhere in myself, I found a drive I have literally never had before (Well, maybe back in primary school). My very first week back were some of the busiest days, and for months after that, I was non-stop. For the first time in years, I had energy and motivation. Now I’m not going to put it all down to Jen Sincero’s book (I did get some B12 injections), but ever since I could read I’ve drawn my strength from doing just that. Books written specifically to inspire me, and to sort me out, are no different.
I’m coming up on my fourth and final year of university and I’ve recently picked up two books. How to have a good day, and I want to be organised. While on of these sits in my office, the other joins the pile of Sarah Knight books by my bed. I hope that these, maybe paired with a few more B12 injections, are the boost I need to ace my last year of uni, and finally get out into the real world.