Part 3 (and the final part) of my #DearJune posts. See Days 1-10 here and Days 11-20 here.
Day 21 – Tea
Day 22 – Space
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💫 #DearJune Day 22: Space 🌙 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My first memories of being obsessed with outer space were at primary school. I had a tendency to enthusiastically latch on to the topics we explored, at one point it was dinosaurs, another obsession was medieval British history, I definitely fancied myself a junior Egyptologist for a while too. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Space is a special thing where the magic doesn’t stop when you grow up. I am just as enchanted, bewildered, and amazed but outer space as I ever was. I know so much more about what stars are, what planets are, what the moon is. But it’s never dulled the intrigue or the beauty of the skies. Even with all the knowledge humans have about the solar system and even beyond, there are many mysteries left to solve. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It’s a bit scary to think of all that unexplored space, and how much of it we’ll never know about. It’s also a bit exciting.
A post shared by Allie Grace (@alliegrce) on Jun 22, 2019 at 8:47am PDT
Day 23 – Diary
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📔 #DearJune Day 23: Diary 📔 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ These are my two diaries (I couldn’t find one once and now I just have two on the go. Both Moomin themed for reasons). I like to keep a diary for three reasons: Improving my writing, Venting and exploring my emotions, and the hope that in the far future my diaries will all be discovered and become an interesting piece of history and I will be posthumously famous. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Keeping a diary makes you oddly vulnerable. Diaries might hold secrets or just emotional processing that you’re not comfortable putting into words for other people. Using my diary for venting nearly ended a friendship in high school. If someone had read my diary during University it definitely would have outed some of my carefully constructed coping mechanisms and boundaries. It seems almost foolish to me that I let so much of myself be discoverable just by picking up a book I keep by my bed (though good luck reading my handwriting). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It is also fun having a diary. I get to write more often, I get to choose the lens I tell my life through, I get to keep a record of all my adventures. I do think keeping a diary has made me a better writer, I think it has helped me to be able to address my experiences more thoughtfully, and most of all it’s just so fun to go back and have a friendly laugh at your younger self over crushes, and short term friend fallouts, and even the strange and silly experiences you’ve had as a fully grown, totally mature, adult – because there will always be times you just want to call someone a butthead.
A post shared by Allie Grace (@alliegrce) on Jun 23, 2019 at 8:55am PDT
Day 24 – Magic
Day 25 – Sunflowers
Day 26 – Playing
I like structured fun. I was keen on hide and seek and other playground games long after they were popular. Quite honestly, if someone suggested hide and seek today I might still be down for it.
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The next phase of games in primary school was card games and werewolf. When interest in these tapered off I was pretty bummed. Several years later we got to drinking games and boy was I relieved.
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I don’t get bored of these games the way other people seem to. I’m sure part of it is coming to them later, and I feel like they’re different enough each time. I do know that I find it so much easier to socialise through games. So much of my anxiety in social situations is managed by having like… cards to play with. I used to be quite confused that other people got bored by these games and the fun wore off for them. Having reflected on how I’ve felt about games my whole life, and how I feel when someone suggests a game over just sitting around talking, I think it’s just part of the way I am and the way my brain works. It’s not exactly the only aspect of social interaction that’s taken me a while to wrap my head around throughout my life.
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I am a pretty extroverted person, so I will endure unstructured fun and I can definitely begin to enjoy it. But if you ever want to play board games with me, or cards, even jackbox or role playing games, don’t hesitate for a second to invite me along.
Day 27 – Citrus
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🍊 #DearJune Day 27: Citrus 🍊 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ To me, citrus says summer. Most fruit does to be fair. Summer has all the best stuff: swimming, sunshine, fruit, Christmas most years of my life so far (dammit UK), beaches, flowers, less bad depression, gin and tonics drunk in parks, the list goes on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ For a while I thought autumn was my favourite season because I was born in autumn and the colours are stunning. Then I thought maybe winter because I’m a moody little so and so and I do like it an awful lot when it snows. Spring was my favourite when I was younger; I even said my favourite day of the year was the first day of spring. It signified the start of something new, an improvement in the weather, and baby little lambs! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It turns out I was wrong the whole time. Summer is my favourite. I love the warm and the sunshine. I love beaches and meadows. I love how the vitamin D lifts my mood. The only sad thing is, quite often, I have to work.
A post shared by Allie Grace (@alliegrce) on Jun 27, 2019 at 10:48am PDT
Day 28 – Changing
Day 29 – Flashes
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💥 #DearJune Day 29: Flashes 💥 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The green flash is a phenomena that occurs just a moment before sunrise or a moment after sunset (sometimes). This flash has been described as “a green which no artist could ever obtain on his palette, a green of which neither the varied tints of vegetation nor the shades of the most limpid sea could ever produce the like! If there is a green in Paradise, it cannot be but of this shade, which most surely is the true green of hope” ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ It is no surprise that such a thing has inspired myths and superstition though it is, as many unusual phenomena are, entirely explained by science. What delights me is that not a single ounce of its magical quality has been shed due to scientific discovery, at least to me. Ever since I was wee science has never taken away from magic, it has only ever been a different kind of magic. Discovering what causes a mysterious flash that’s not often seen is amazing. It’s incredible to think how things we barely think of create things we build entire myths around. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I hope the green flash does inspire hope, and I hope that somehow it encourages those who see it to make wise decisions. Just because something can be explained by ‘science’, doesn’t mean it isn’t a bit magic too.
A post shared by Allie Grace (@alliegrce) on Jun 29, 2019 at 9:26am PDT
Day 30 – Social
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👫 #DearJune Day 30: Social 👭 ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I spend a lot of my time alone. When I’m not alone I’m usually with my partner, or I’m at work. People are often impressed with how comfortable I am going out to dinner, the theatre, or to a movie all by myself. Truly it is a result of convenience with a dash of unyielding fear of being rejected (which I’ll then subconsciously use as evidence that I am secretly widely disliked). It stems more from my lack of confidence in reaching out to people than confidence in myself. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I am terribly lonely. Since high school I’ve completely failed to build friendships that meet my needs. I still have virtually no friends I feel really close to in the UK. Most people I have connected with either turned out to just be kinda shitty friends, live nowhere near me (why must you all be in London?), or were so intrinsically tied with university experiences that I haven’t heard from them since (bar awkward cafe run-ins). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Being social is incredibly important to me. Despite my hounding self doubt in regards to being liked I am at heart an extrovert; I draw energy from other people and I feel so much joy when I am with good people. People are surprised when I do something like volunteer flat out at Summer in the City for 3 days straight, or travel to London for one weekend just to go to an all night Disney movie marathon which nearly kills me, but it’s these experiences with these people that really keep me going. Otherwise, I am just alone, always.
A post shared by Allie Grace (@alliegrce) on Jun 30, 2019 at 8:29am PDT
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